AshlieHipp.com

• ashliehipp
• 08/05/2018

Top 5 Dating No-no’s

Ever feel like there’s more “don’ts” than “dos” when it comes to dating? That’s because there are, silly! & I hate to break it to you, but I have a few of the lesser known top dating no-no’s to add to the list…

You may be expecting to see “don’t have sex on the first date” “don’t wear too much makeup” or “put your phone away”, but don’t. Mostly because, first do you and second it’s cliché. Also because sometimes things come up. For example, you getting too drunk or your job needing you to be accessible via the phone all the time. Being that life in general has forced the dating game to change, the rules have changed too. What once was a way to most definitely secure a partner, isn’t a guarantee anymore.

Since I’m obviously unable to help you with the secret sauce for landing a significant other, I’ll tell you what not to do.

Here are some tips I’ve either learned from experience or I’ve heard of and instantly laughed or became second-hand embarrassed AF… Either way, they’re still dating no-no’s.

1. Be sure not to black out before the first date.

Most people will tell you not to get too drunk on the date, I’m going to tell you not to get too drunk before the date.

Once upon a time a girl in her early mid twenties, named Ashlie went to happy hour in the South Side with her coworkers on a Friday before date. What was supposed to be one margarita and some queso turned into five frozen margs, not even sure I made it to the queso. The date was… interesting, to say the least. I was taken home right after dinner and never heard from him again.

The funny thing was, he even knew I had planned happy hour before we scheduled the date. I guess that doesn’t change the fact that pregaming a first night out is on the list of big time dating no-no’s.

2. Try not to pay more attention to his dog than him.

As you all know I love animals. Recently, I met up with a guy for coffee and we seemed to hit it off. He asked me to come to his place to watch a scary movie the next night. Although I’m not one for scary movies, I obliged… because he seemed cool and he had a puppy…

The first hangout went well, we talked more than we watched the movie and the puppy was adorable. It wasn’t until the next night when things took an awkward turn. He invited me back over to have a drink and watch some TV. I’m not a huge casual drinker these days, so I chose to just have a coke. He poured himself a drink (and a few more after that) and we sat down to watch I don’t even remember what show because I was playing with the dog and talking to him. I thought I was doing really good at giving them equal attention, but the puppy really liked me and wouldn’t leave me alone.

Fast forward to 2 hours later, comments like “he would rather sit on your lap”, “he never acts like that with me” and “my dog likes you more” were being thrown around in very passive aggressive tones. After it was apparent that he wasn’t having any of this, I said I was going to head out. His parting words to me were “my dog even thinks you’re too good for me”.

I drove home and called my friend on the way back. I told to her that I had a feeling this would be the last time I’d see him. That’s the vibe I was given but wasn’t sure if he was just drunk. Turns out, he wasn’t drunk, he couldn’t handle his puppers getting more love than him.

Selfish and self-conscious on his part, a lesson learned and another point added to the dating no-no’s list for me.

3. Stay away from the temptation for constant communication.

I would have to say this is my biggest relationship pet peeve, my personal number one on the list of dating no-no’s. Please don’t constantly blow up my phone…

I realize that it’s hard not to text someone 24/7 when your phone is literally right there all the time, but don’t do it. In college this was different, but now in the real adult world, it’s just clingy, desperate, possibly controlling and not to mention annoying. Nothing is more annoying than when I haven’t replied to a text from 2 hours (days) ago and someone texts me again, and again…. and again.

This is important for other reasons besides it’s annoying AF.

1. It takes away from conversations that could be more intimate in person or on a phone call.
2. It leaves less room for controlling, possessive or abusive personalities to take over. The days of dealing with “you’re on IG why didn’t you text me back?!” are over for this girl.
3. It has desensitized us from our emotions that are attached to conversations that can actually help us become closer.

4. Avoid following his friends and family on social media until you’ve actually met them.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, BUT…

My friends have done it. I have talked to guys whose friends have done it. Hell I probably have even done it in the way back past!

DO NOT under any circumstances follow or add a member of his family or friend group on social media before you have met them. *Unless he says “yo add my boy”, DON’T DO IT. I don’t even think you should add them after you meet them once, let them come to you. Wait until you’re a permanent fixture in each others lives before opening the social media flood gates.

…this way you don’t have to take the trouble to unfollow them a week after meeting them and you save yourself from looking clingy and crazy AF.

5. Don’t tell him you and your friends figured out his life story from Instagram the night you met.

I’m the PI of my friend group. My social media background mixed with my love of crime TV has made me the ultimate creeper. My skills have gotten us all in trouble a time or two. They are just that good.

Sometimes you creep and find something you shouldn’t know yet, that’s when your plan to internet stalk has backfired. You’re now sitting on some undisclosed information that comes with a plethora of important questions. However, you can’t ask these questions because you’re not supposed to know.

DO NOT let your curiosity get the best of you and ask ANYTHING about any topic you’ve discovered via social media until the person you’re seeing makes you privy to the information first.

Creep all you want, but be strong enough to sit on your intel until the time is right. Stage 5 clinger is never a good look.

What are your biggest dating no-no’s? What drives you absolutely insane about dating? Comment below and let me know!

xo,
Ash