Skip the Small Talk: 10 Questions to Ask to Really Get to Know Someone

In today’s world it can be really hard to really get to know someone. Social media has made possible to display a life that only you want people to see. It’s so easy to hide your true self, hopes, dreams and struggles behind an Instagram picture with a funny caption. This makes new quality relationships with like-minded people, the friend and the love kind, near impossible to find. It’s all so materialistic, but where does it end? Usually after the first, maybe second date or after a drunken night on the town ends in pure drama… but how can that waste of time be avoided. 

Skip the small talk.

The bottom half of our generation (millennials) and the one after (the always unbearable, gen z) have become reliant on two things: looks and small talk. This is most definitely because of social media and the dating apps we are forced onto these days. With the exception of a few jobs, looks will never pay the bills… sorry to all you wannabe Kylie Jenner’s out there. Small talk, on the other hand, will never let you get to know the person you’re investing your time in.

Thus, I bring you the 10 questions to ask if you really want to get to know someone.

1. How would your friends describe you?

This one is important for several reasons…

1. You’re going to see how humble they are.
2. You’ll see if they value relationships by how they speak about their friends
3. They’re actually going to tell you how they feel about themselves, it’s a trick question…

2. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

This one is just a super fun conversation starter, but a couple of red flags to watch out for are:
– Invisibility, probably means they are a creepy pervert
– Be in two places at once, means never satisfied with what they have

3. What is your dream vacation?

This one is a way to evaluate goals and see if there is any potential for a future vaca. Bonus if you can both mark off one more trip on that bucket list.

4. Are you where you want to be in your career?

It’s allll about the goals. We have student loans, personal loans and the cost of living is nowhere near where it should be based on the salaries offered to us. However, here we are…

It’s not all about the money though, it’s also about making sure this person is motivated enough to help motivate you to be better.

5. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?

Music. Is there anything more important than having a common respect for the same music? There is not. You don’t have to LOVE trap music, but if you don’t know who Migos is, we’re probably not going to work out in the long run…

6. If you were one of the original Power Rangers, which would you be?

Another great conversation starter… This will transform into a full-blown conversation about your favorite 90’s TV shows. Well that is if you can both carry on the conversation… see what I did there.

7. What was your best memory growing up?

Questions about a person’s childhood will both show them that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them while also forcing them to open up to you. Basically, when you’re talking about great memories from the past, there can be no small talk.

8. If you were famous, what would you want to be famous for?

What a person wants to be known for says so much about who they are as a person. Superficial answers come from superficial people. If you’re alarmed by the answer, ask what they would do with their fame…

Kim Kardashian West came up off a sex tape and is now helping with prison reform… Dig a tad bit deeper.

9. What’s your favorite series to binge watch on Netflix?

Do you want to be stuck inside in the terribly cold Pittsburgh winter and not be able to agree what to watch all day? I didn’t think so…

10. Who’s your favorite and least favorite celebrity and why?

Mutual hate always brings people together… especially when you both can’t stand a celebrity that is a fan favorite.

*anyone else who hates Lebron James please DM me, we can be friends.

That’s all for now…. try them out, let me know what you think. Please stop wasting your time on material relationships. You deserve genuine people in your life! Everyone does. 

Before you leave, make sure you comment and answer one of these questions for me! I would love to get to know you guys a little bit… 

xo,
Ashlie