4 Things We Need to Stop Calling Unattractive

Metaphors and analogies are my favorite part of life. There is nothing I like more than a great, overdramatic, yet spot on comparison. Overtime, some of these comparisons get overused and they, in turn, become annoyingly cliché. Metaphors like these actually become more of an insult to the object we started to compare things to in the first place. Although there are several, today we’re going to stick with one category… things society has deemed unattractive or just outright ugly.

Females comparing the attractiveness of themselves and other females to likenesses of food and animals is a tale as old as time. Being someone who loves food and animals, these comparisons are often confusing to me. I often find myself wondering how this comparison came to be. Why are people calling something I love so much ugly? I don’t think they’re ugly at all.

Here are a few of the cliché comparisons for something unattractive that I feel have got to go.

1. Potatoes

Potatoes… It’s obvious why this is number 1 right? What started as someone looking like a “sack of potatoes” because of wearing size to small and thus appearing lumpy af, has not transpired into anything unattractive being compared to a potato. I am personally not here for it. Potatoes are one of my favorite foods, probably because they always seem to taste GREAT when accompanied by cheese. I love cheese, but that’s neither here nor there. Potatoes are the subject of the moment, and they are delicious and beautiful.

Stop saying “I look like a potato”. Potatoes look better than you when you have no makeup on, and they would definitely look better than what’s her face in the corner checking out your man. You’re insulting delicious and beautiful potatoes everywhere.

Not to mention …they’re literally the most versatile food ever. Fry them, bake them, mash them…. MAKE THEM INTO PANCAKES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Your basic a** does not deserve to be compared to a potato and all that it can do.

End the stigma, respect potatoes.

2. Horses

They’re beautiful, mystic creatures. They’re basically unicorns without the horn. They gallop and prance effortlessly, and often times make you some great money if the odds are right. It’s almost triple crown season, heyyyyyy.

Got a little off track, sorry… pun intended.

ANYWAY…

I don’t understand how having a “horse face” became such an insult. I’ve been around horses my whole life, my first pet was a thoroughbred named On Ashlie’s Demand, and I’ve only ever seen one unattractive horse. Honestly, I see more unattractive females running around East Carson St on a nice day than unattractive horses at the track.

I’ll keep this one short and sweet. Please refrain from comparing your ex boyfriend’s new fling to a horse… chances are she’s prettier than you anyway, just let it go. Let him go… and leave horses out of it.

3. Pizza

Have you or someone you know with acne been called “pizza face”? Have you ever wondered who could pizza that much to compare it to acne? I’m positive this dates back to forever ago…. but why?

First things first, acne isn’t anything to make fun of someone for, it doesn’t make you unattractive and it really f*cks with your self-esteem. It sucks and 9 times out of 10, its genetic so you can’t really do anything to prevent it. Second of all, why would you compare pockets of puss, dead skin cells and oil to the world’s most delicious food?! To me it just doesn’t add up. Acne doesn’t look like pizza. Pizza looks like pizza and it’s freaking good.

4. Pigs

Pigs are absolutely adorable AND  I’m sorry if I come off a little crass and insensitive here, but… bacon.

When I think of a pig I think of the cute little one that Chelsea from Teen Mom 2 has, I don’t think of some ugly swine playing in the mud. While I have seen girls that I would say maybe resemble that kind of pig, I have never seen one as cute as her pig and I know they are not as delicious as bacon. I’m against calling a cheating guy a “pig” for the same reasons. Pigs don’t cheat, Tristan Thompson cheats stop shaming to make yourself feel better.

 

Do I need to say anything else or can we just stop comparing unattractiveness to wonderful things?

 

xo,

Ash

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