AshlieHipp.com

• ashliehipp
• 05/10/2018

The 6 Most Basic Things Girls Do When It Gets Warm In Pittsburgh

Being that Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is a relatively small city, it’s hard to find a ton of fun and different things to do. This is especially true through the frigid, miserable winter months. It seems as though most people in the area go into hibernation… bars are less crowded, people are staying in because it’s literally freezing. However, there is no keeping Pittsbugh-ers indoors once the sun starts to shine… particularly the females.

Without further ado… Here are the six most basic things you’ll most definitely see 98% of Yinzer-ladies do in the upcoming warm-weather months:

1. Brunch in the Southside

Does brunch exist anywhere else in Pittsburgh outside of the Southside?

This is typically followed by a totally not sober dinner and a blacked out evening all in the same clothing. Expect to begin at Local or Urban Tap and end up at The Flats.

Outfit options typically include: ill-fitting crop tops with your go-to fat squeezing, muffin top making leggings… don’t forget the Chuck Taylors, as well as full Adidas tracksuits just in case you need to get a quick workout “dahn LA fitness”.

2. Visit the Mount Washington Overlook Photoshoot

Here come the candids!

We all know the picture of you gazing longingly at a bunch of buildings took about a hundred tries, same with the one of you turning and laughing.

Buildings, while beautiful, aren’t that interesting and they can’t make jokes, so why are you longing for and giggling at them? Do we all have objectophilia or are guys in Pittsburgh just that boring? Asking for a friend.

3. Go Kayaking in the Ohio

… or is it the Allegheny? Either way… GROSS! It may be different if they were brown and filled with debris, but they are and it’s gross. Get yourself a tetanus shot ASAP.

While I have you here, please stop taking pictures while in your kayak. First of all, yeah the view is pretty, but we live here, we can go see it ourselves. Second of all, it gives me second-hand anxiety thinking about you losing your phone in one of the three rivers.

4. Check out Randyland with your Gal Pals

The best Instagram captions for your posts from the day include, “Do I make you Randy, baby” and “Randyland the happiest place on earth”…. first, no you standing in front of a brightly painted wall does not turn me on and second, Disney is the happiest place on earth. Don’t get it twisted.

 5. Take the photo tour of the Southside

Black and white butterfly wings, eye-catching elephants and an entire park devoted to brightly painted concrete…

I don’t think your IG feed is ready for this, ladies. This may just be what Lizzie was referring to when she said “this is what dreams are made of.” KIDDING

6. Attend a Pirate game

Don’t forget to pretend to care about baseball.

If you’re there to get drunk, say you’re there to get drunk… if you’re there because of a guy, say you’re there because of a guy. Stop pretending to enjoy the Pittsburgh Pirates.

They trade every good player and the organization as a whole kind of blows. Just say it like it is and tell us all that you like the view of the city and want to get your drink on… andddd also bet on the pierogi race because what else is there to do?!

If any of this offends you… I’m not really that sorry. I have done most of all of this in my time in the wonderful city of Pittsburgh. I hope it made you laugh like the buildings at the overlook, but if not at least I can say “I tried“.

xo,
Ashlie